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I'm the person at improv shows who wants to call them improve shows. 

 

I love Dad jokes. Especially if they are Dead Dad jokes. So many Freudian slips to make. 

 

Because nothing says "morose" like more rosé. 

 

Sneaker lovers are the most straightforward. 

 

Are there any toe DJs out there? Put your hands in the air if so. 

 

My tits are aka Bob Saget. 

 

Massages Not Misogynists! 

 

"Blaze On, Blazers!" -- The Funky Tailors Convention Slogan, 1999

 

Ever try an erotic-re-read? It's when you've seen this re-run too many times so you mute it and turn it into a softcore porn. 

DOG TAG LINES:

Chew Sticks, Get Ticks

Chase Tails, Get Bitches

Race Cars, Get Stitches

My Balls > Tennis Balls

Bone Dry Humpin', Street Piss Lovin'

HugLife Gang - a reformed group of thugs now passing out free love on the streets of Alassio, Italy.

Oh my god. Was Mordechai Richler actually talking about a clitoris when he wrote Jacob Two-Two and the Hooded Fang?

When a wino goes through The Change, we call it wino-pause. 

The HOV lane always makes me think of Jay-Z. 

I can hear Kim and Kanye as an old couple. 

Kim - Anything.

Kanye - EHHHH?

Biggest Loser: Temptation Nation